Temptation
by Babss
Summary: Haley and Nathan are seeing each other since two months but one day Haley decided to reveal her feelings
1. It hurts too much

This is my first OTH's fanfic and i'm sorry for the mistakes but English is ot my maternal language... So i hope you like it... Rewiews are welcome..

Pairing : NALEY

My phone bells, I look at it some seconds before I take it. I don't even need to check the ID to know who calls me, it can only be him. Every night, he calls me and every night, he says the same words.

"Your parents are here ?"

I think before answer to him. I want to see him, really but I know that what I do is wrong and yet I can't move away from him.

"No"

"I'll be here in 15 minutes"

He hangs up and I lie down on my bed. I watch my photos and any is of him. There is Lucas, Peyton, Brooke but Nathan don't. I close my eyes trying to remember me why I allow him to come to my house at night to shower him and I remember... This is because I want him too.

Every time that he reachs me, I feel alive and I think that he gives to me more than his body, I think I have his heart. While few minutes, I don't care anymore about my family, my friends and my problems, I concentrate only on his face and particularly on his eyes.

He always looks at me deeply, I feel that someone understands me but when everthing ends, I realize it wasn't love. It was something he wanted and he taked it whitout thought or any feeling. When I see him stand up and get dress, I feel empty, dirty and unfinished.

I heard three knocks on my bedroom's door. I don't even have to open my eyes, it's him. I picture him against the door, looking at me, preparing what it comes after. I heard him moving near the bed. I heard the sound of him when he removes his jacket and put it on the chair, after he removes his sweater.

The tentation to see him bare chest is too strong and I finally open my eyes. He has this beatiful smile, his eyes shine and he doesn't move. I know he wants that I get up but I don't do it. I can't, I don't want to do it anymore. It is not me, I don't like do that. Betray my closest friends and my convictions, I don't want to do it anymore.

When he notices that I'll not move, he sits on the bed and turns to face me. His hand slides underneath my top and his lips attack my neck. I know that I won't resist longer but I try anyway.

Nathan Scott has always have anything that he wanted, even me. He saw me, he came, he conquered. He takes me in his sheets but he doesn't know he is in my heart. I don't want to be used anymore, I want to be loved, to believe I'll spend my life with him even if he doesn't feel the same.

I close my eyes again, his lips are still on my neck. I feel tears in my eyes but I don't want to cry in front of him. I prefer to cry on my shower or when I go to sleep. I don't want him to know what I feel because I know it'll scare him. But this time, I can't hold myself back.

Tears run on my cheeks and I feel his lips starting to get higher on my face. Suddenly, the heat of his mouth goes away and I feel his breath on my face.

"Why do you cry ?"

I open my eyes and I see him watching to me oddly. I don't know what to say and even if I knew it, I won't be able to talk as dazzled by his face as I am. I feel him dry my tears and he does it, I cry harder.

"everything is ok, I'm here"

this is my problem, he is here. He is with me, near to me, he touches me, strokes me, kisses me, had sex with me but I know he don't love me. I'm just at his disposal.

"Did you have a bad day ?"

I shake my head in no whitout looking at him.

"Something happens at work ?"

I nod once again a no. This time, he hesitates to ask me his next question but I see he understand the situation.

"It's because of me ? I did something which hurt you ?"

I can't lie. We never talk about our relationship, except at the beginning to set up the rules. But since it was just sex, no talk, no soft gesture, no feeling... of his part.

"why do you do this to me?"

he move away and looks at me, not understanding everything.

"you come, you take what you want and you go"

This time, no doubts in his mind. Our arrangement "Friends with benefits" is questioned. He carresses me slowly to reassure me but I guess he doesn't know what to say.

"I think it was good for you.... Since when do you dislike this ?'

No turn back, I talk too much, I can't be silent any longer and I have to say the truth.

"since the beginning"

I'm feeling free. No more lies, no more scruples, no more fears... until I look at him. His eyes show everything except delight and I have this feeling that our relationship is going to end tonight.

When I wake up this morning, I knew that everything will be hell... after I reveal to Nathan my feeling, he suddely backs away and said that he didn't need a relationship now, he just wanted sex... I cried again and he comforted me after that he was gone.

Now, I'm standing in front of High School and I can't decide if I go or not.

"Hey, Looser"

Lucas. God, I'm so glad he's here. I look at him and he smiles to me.

"What are you doing here ? You need to walk a little more to go to class"

"I don't want to go"

He watches me and I know that he knows something wrong with me.

"You are ok ?"

I want to tell him everything but I can't do that to him. He is my best friend and I slept with his brother who is also his enemy. I put a smile on my face.

"yeah, sure. I'm perfect. You ?"

"Well, there is a party at Dan's and my mother and I are invited. I think it's a trap !"

"Your mom wants to go ?"

"yeah. Nathan's mother asked her to come"

Why did he have to mention this name ? I need to forget everything about him.

"So you have to go ?"

"Yeah and I have to have a date so..."

No, no, no. Please don't say that.

"go with Brooke !"

"Brooke is a... we... it was more like a one night stand"

"please, she is into you since you joined the basketball's team"

"anyway, tell me you are going with me !"

"no way"

"Why ?"

What can I say ? I don't want to go to your brother's house because I love him so much that it hurts when I see him... not so great.

"It's too weird. Me in dan's house... come on I hate this guy."

"yeah but you love his son..."

What did he just said ? I love this son yeah but how does he know it ?

"I'm not proud to be his son but you love me you can't refuse this to me. Your best friend, your buddy"

"hey Peyton !"

I just saw Peyton and it was the perfect distraction. She walks to us with a smile.

"hey you two, What's up ?"

"Are you going to dan's party ?"

"every year, cheerleaders have to go to this crappy party"

I watch them with a smile. They are so perfect for each other, maybe too perfect that's why they can't be together like Nathan and me. They talk a little but I don't listen anymore. I see Nathan and Tim walks to the High school. They laugh and I can't remember the last time Nathan laughs. It's good to see him smile.

"earth to Haley."

Peyton snaps one's fingers in front of me and I realize that I was in my dream far away from them.

"yeah ? what ?"

"You have to come"

"ok, where ?"

"Scott's party !"

"I already say no, I don't want to go there because of... everything, it's... wrong and I have to stay away from him"

I realize that I made a mistake. Peyton notices but she says nothing, unfortunaly Lucas notices too.

"who ?"

"sorry ?"

"you said him ? Who is he?"

"euh... Dan... I mean this guy is a jerk and if I see him, I so gonna slap him hard and..."

"You are so violent"

Peyton watchs me... God, she is scary sometimes.

"Hey, Haley, we need to go to class. See you later Luke"

She grabs my hand and pull me to class. I know she thinks that something is up with me and I know she knows that I don't wanna tell this to Luke.

The ring bells and I can escape to Peyton's question. I sit down and I open my book. I have forget that Nathan is with me in this class. He walks in and looks to me, god, he looks so fine. He smiles at me and I know I turn red. I remark Peyton watching our exchange and suddenly I feel really embarrassed.

The teacher come in and everybody shut up. I have this taste in my mouth and I just want to run out and go to the bathroom to throw up. I feel dizzy and I hardly heard the teacher. God this taste is so degusting... I need to go out... I don't even go to the trouble of ask to the teacher and I run out to the bathroom.

Once I finish to throw up, I look at myself in the mirror, I'm so pale. I rinse my mouth and I take my breath. I'm sick. Maybe I'll be still sick for the Friday's party and I will be able to escape to Lucas.

The bathroom's door open up. Peyton rushes on me.

"Are you ok ?"

"Yeah, I am sick I think"

she strokes my hair and my back.

"you don't seem fine to me. You look tired"

"I am"

"you want me to take you back home ?"

"no, it's ok, really"

I try to walk away but she holds me up.

"What happens between you and Nate ?"

"Nathan ? Me ? I don't think this two names are good in the same phrase !"

"I saw the smile, I saw glances between you two. The way you avoid Lucas when he asks you something about Nathan. This is so obvious."

"Listen, I don't know what are you talking about but this conversation is over now."

"Haley, I don't want too push you to make confession about your life but if it is what I think you can't talk to Lucas because of their story, but you have to know that I'm here too. I'm your friend and I know pretty well Nathan..."

"Peyton, stop it and listen to me. There is nothing between Nathan and me, we don't even know each other and this is the last time I say it to you ok ?"

I just want to end this conversation, this is embarrassing. I don't lie, there is nothing between Nathan and me... not anymore and we don't know each other very well.

During lunch time, I sit alone on the bench. I don't want to be with people... this is the only way to clear my head and to think about my mistakes... Where do I start ? I slept with Nathan, I fell in love with him, I confess my feelings and now I'm sick... and I have nobody to talk about all this shit... Well I have somebody, I have Peyton but... I just can't talk to that with her, I mean she's is Nathan's ex girlfriend and it is too weird even for me in this moment.

"Tutor-girl"

Brooke Davis. The slut of Tree Hill High School, Lucas told me she was nice sometimes and she was very devoted to her friends. I can't imagine this. Come on, it's Brooke the girl who was in Lucas's car partially nude to slept with him...

"Tigger ! Can I help you ?"

"Easy... I just want to know why you aren't with Lucas or somebody else, this is... weird... I mean weirder than usual"

She always has the right word to make me feel better. I glared at her and she knows she talks too much.

"Trouble in paradise ?"

"What paradise ? my life is hell"

I just need to shut me up... Brooke is the queen of gossip... I have to stay strong and shut my mouth.

"Hell ? you have Lucas, a family, a work... What could be wrong with your life ? Except love but you have nobody..."

When I say nothing, she looks at me. She opens her mouth and shut it...

"ok, so it's a guy. Want to talk ?"

"Why do you care ? You always slept with Lucas, you don't have to be nice with me"

Now, I become aggressive and I hate it. She starts to walk away and I feel more angry at myself.

"Brooke, I'm sorry, I didn't mean this... It's just that..."

She turns over and put her hands on her hips.

"I have this problem, I can't deal with it, it's just too big. Lucas can't help me and... I..."

She is still silent and looks away. I don't know what to do, I don't be used to silent Brooke, she is always speaking about anything and this is how I can deal with her but now I just watch her.

"you have a problem, I have a car... want to go somewhere else ?"

suddenly, I just want to listen to the bad voice inside my head and follow Brooke. I smile and she starts to walk to her car, I come after her and I just don't think about my problems anymore.

So what do you think ???


	2. It's good to tell her

I hope you like this chapter...

"The mall ?"

"This is the best place to distract you"

"so, we are here because of me and not because you want to buy new clothes ?"

She smiles. Brooke is another person with me. She is a little... well... crazy but she is cool. She have a good taste in fashion, she is funny, she is herself... not Brooke the cheerleader... I know why Lucas fell for her.

"I suggest to go drink a coffee and after that we go to my house and try this new clothes... Ok ?"

"no problem for me"

we spent the afternoon together and she never ask something about my problems. I don't know if this is because she doesn't care or because she don't want to push me but it is good.

we are in the coffee shop and two guys don't stop looking at us. Brooke loves boys looking toward her but I'm so uncomfortable with this. Except Nathan, any guy has ever watch to me.

"This guys over there are very annoying"

"Don't tell me that you don't like that"

"When I see guys looking with insistence I just want to punch them, you know, we aren't piece of meat."

Brooke looks one more time to the guys and laughs... I don't know how react. She laughs once again and I look around us.

"Brooke, will you calm down ? This is so embarrassing"

"did you see him ? he has milk all over his face"

I look to the guys and one of them has milk above his mouth... I start to laugh a little but Brooke stops. I watch her, she stands up and stretch one hand.

"now, you need to get dress"

"what ?"

"come on, we go to my house."

I take her hands and we leave

When we reach her car, I saw my mobile on the seat.

5 missed calls...

I look to the list : 2 calls from Lucas, 1 from Peyton and 2 from Nathan. I sigh and Brooke looks over my shoulder. Her smile grow when she see the last name.

"it's look like pretty-boy wants to talk to you... maybe you should call him"

"maybe I shouldn't"

"maybe I can advise you if you tell me what is going on !"

Now I have no other choice except tell the truth to Brooke.

"I slept with him... two months ago and since that, we..."

"you are friends with benefits ?"

"yes"

God, it is so good to tell the truth to somebody.... even if somebody is Brooke Davis.

"what's the problem ? Are you attract to him ?"

"worse"

"what ? do you like him ?"

I have the response but can I say it aloud ? can I say that I love Nathan Scott, the boy who used me for sex ?

"yes, and I can't help it... but it's too late now... I told him everything and..."

"he frightened ?"

"you can say that"

Brooke takes my phone and call someone.

"Yeah, it's Brooke... listen... are you scared or something like that ? I mean Haley looks really crappy right now and if you wanted to tell her that your relationship is over it is really not the right time ok ?"

now it's me who is scared ! What does she do ? She is not talking to Nathan, it's not possible... please, don't let it be Nate. She gives back the phone when I have it, I look and I see nothing except the photo of Luke and me on wallpaper.

"I didn't call him... but what I said was real, you look like shit and your story with Scott doesn't help it... So you are gonna call him and tell him what you really feel, you will be better after that"

I don't know what to say. A girl like Brooke can solve my problems, it's just too unreal. I watch my mobile and when it rings again, I check the ID... Nathan. I looked to Brooke who smile to me. I press the button "on" and put my phone to my hear.

"yeah... I'm ok, I just wanted to go... to shopping... I'm not there... at the mall... no, listen I'm not alone ok ? I'm with Brooke and I want to go at Brooke's and talk... nothing, everything... talk is something we don't do together so you know, I want to talk with somebody listenning to me... not just using me. Now I have to go bye."

I hang up and look to Brooke. She claps her hands.

"you are so great... no emotion, no tears... you've become a real bitch"

I think it's a compliment so I smile a little. I finally have the last word with Nathan.

"you know what ? we should do this more often... this was fun."

"yeah it was".

When I come home, I'm surprised to see Lucas standing in the kitchen waiting for me.

"Have you had a good day ?"

"It was interresting"

"What did you do ? walk ? run ? work ?"

"I go to the mall and I buy some outfit"

"Who are you ? Haley James don't skip school to go to the mall"

"today she does"

Lucas come to closer to me and I really want to tell him but I can't. Brooke and I, we discuss a little about that and she said that Luke will be angry if I tell him so I have to lie again.

"anyway. About Friday ?"

"what ?"

"the party, tell me you come with me."

The party where I can see Nathan Scott... in his house... with everyone around us... where Lucas will be.

"ok, I'll be there but if I want to go, I go"

he give me this look... I hate this look. Lucas is proud of him, he convinces me to go to this party. I watch him smile willingly and I want to slap him but before I extend my arm, my mobile rings. I look to the ID caller and my smile grows when I see it's Brooke. Lucas stare at the phone, not smiling anymore.

"Tigger ? miss me already ?... yeah sure, no problem for me... no, I don't work. It's cool...bye"

I hang up and Lucas is more than surprised. He doesn't speak but I see he's really astonished.

"well, any questions ?"

"any more secrets ?"

"what secrets ? I don't hide anything from you"

another lie... it will never stop. I hate lying to Lucas but it is better this way. Nathan and I are over and there is no reason that Lucas knows about our love affair.

"Brooke calls you. Since when are you friend with her ?"

"since when have you one-night-stand ?"

"so I slept with her and you become her new best-friend ?"

I don't want a confrontation with him now. I'm tired, I'm sick and I know me. If he pushes me, I risk to be mean and say things that I'll regret. He knows that, he's my best friends, he has to know that.

"Lucas, listen to me and try to understand, Brooke is cool with me and I know I can talk to her about things I can't talk to you, she's very helpful and you have to stay cool with it because... I want it that way ok?"

I finish my sentence and I heard the car's engine. I know that sound, it's Nathan's car. God, it can't be happenning. Lucas goes to watch trough the window and see him.

"why Nathan is here ?"

"Nathan ?"

I try to sound innocent and surprised but I can't really play well. I'm so terrified. Lucas looks at me and tries to guess why his brother is here, in his best friend's house. I heard Nathan's steps closer to the door and now I'm shaking. Nathan is here, Lucas will know the truth, I'll lose Lucas and maybe Nate and I'll be alone. Lucas will hate me... and now Nathan comes in the house. Why he never knock ? He stares at Lucas like me.

"what is he doing here ?"

Lucas watches me, wainting an answer... Nathan doesn't speak and looks at me, almost laughing. I have to say the first thing in my mind.

"I tutor him"

"what ?"

"his grades are very bad and I help him, that's why he is here"

Lucas glances at me one more time before rushes on the door.

"I see you tomorrow, be ready at 7:30"

he walks away and I sigh. God, this was so close. Why Nathan is here anyway ? I looked at him when he closes the door.

"so... it was close"

"why are you here ?"

he comes near to me and put one hand on my cheek. He leans over to kiss me but I avoid him.

"you can't do this to me. You know how I feel and every time you leave, it hurts me."

"that's ok. I just want to talk a little with you tonight."

This is a first, Nathan wants to talk with me instead of sleep with me. Something is wrong in this scenario. I look at his face and he seems to be serious about this.

"if you run into Brooke's arms to talk it's definively that you need someone to talk about us."

"so, it is because of this that you want to talk to me not because I'm hurt or because you feel the need to tell me that our relationship is not only on you advantage. You want to speak because you are jealous of Brooke ? Unbelievable"

now, I'm angry. I hate being mean but it's too much. Nathan has used me for two months and now he decides to talk because of his jealousy toward Brooke.

"who do you think you are ? you are nothing more than a child who wants to be the star. You need to grow-up Nate, because now, you are a man not a boy, you are responsible of your actions, even your actions towards me. I feel the need to be protected, to be loved and I think this is your role because you are here almost every night in the last two months to fuck me and this is because of this that I'm hurt. I'm feeling dirty and I know that I'm your slut but I have emotion, I'm sensitive and I just want to kill myself for what I did with you..."

I never speak like that to anyone... I have this fire in me and it devours me... Nathan just stares at me. He doesn't know what to say... I just want to shake him hardly. God this boy is so idiot. I just confess my regrets and he doesn't even think to tell me that he's here for me.

"you know, every morning when I'm wake up I wish this was a dream... but it's not and my first desire is to cry... every night when you hold me, when you kiss me I want to tell you that I love you since the beginning but I can't because it's against the rules... so fuck the rules because there it is I love you."

I don't know what I want him to do but I'm not expecting what he does. He walks towards me, take my face between his hands and kisses me bitterly. I can't nearly take my breath because his lips are on mine and he doesn't release. His hands fall on my back and he presses me more against me.

"say it again... say you love me, please"

I don't know why it hurts that he asked me this. Maybe because I know that he can't say it back but once more I chock back my pride and I say it.

"God, Nathan, I love you more than anything"

I think it's stimulating for him because his kisses are warmer, tender. Nathan looks at me in my eyes.

"you are not my slut... I promise you... you are not a slut"

and with that he kisses me once more time.

When I wake up this morning, I am feeling good. Nathan was great this night. He stays a little after we had sex and he tells me things about him and about his feeling, not his declaration to me but some nice things. He said that he was a lucky guy because I was beautiful and funny. He said he loved when I stroke the back of his neck or when I smile to him when we are doing it. He was very different, he asked several times to me to say that I love him and every time I said it, he kisses me gently. I really like our night and for the first time, I don't want to cry because I'm his slut...

Suddenly, I get up and run in the bathroom. I throw up again... this is so boring to be ill. I throw up since 5 days and I can't help but feel tired. Maybe I need to see a doctor, yeah, I'll go this week. When I come back in my room, I found a note on my desk.

_This was interresting.... Nate_

Interresting ? yeah it was. God, I love him so much. I take my pajamas and put on me. When I come into the kitchen, I look to the mess. Nathan and I are really excited yesterday and everything on our way was on the floor now, flowers, books, my mother's vase...

I begin to clean up but the door open up. Lucas enters and looks at me

"What's hurricane was here ?"

"It's just..."

how explain that to him ? Your brother and I were too excited to go to my room so we started to have sex here... on the table... no I think Lucas will have a heart attack. So what can I say ?

"there is... a .... mouse... and I get scared, you know me ?"

"ok, wait, I help you"

he starts to collect the pieces of the vase.

"so you are tutoring Nathan ? why ?"

"because he needs my help"

"or maybe he is just using you to mess with me ?"

this is so real... this is how everything started between us.

"Listen, I won't stop ok ?"

"ok, let's not talk about that, So you and Brooke ? friends ?"

"yesterday, we were together and it was fun"

"what are you talking with her ? me ?"

"sounds like you are interesting"

Lucas smiles and so do I. It's good to have a discussion where I'm comfortable with.

"let's say that Brooke is hot and I'm a man."

"so it's just about sex ?"

"no, I really like her. She's funny and I like stay with her"

"you know what ? ask her a date, she will be glad, I'm sure of it"

he looks at me and this time, I notice something in his eyes.

"but what about Peyton ?"

"she's... too... tortured. And I think she likes Jake."

"really ?"

I don't know why but I'm happy things don't work between us, maybe it's because of Brooke or maybe it's because Peyton have already has her Scott and I don't want her to stole the other from me.

Don't hesitate to tell me what do you think...


	3. It was almost perfect

This is the next chapter, enjoy it ....

* * *

I am sitting alone in the tutoring center when Brooke come in. She sits in front of me and looks at me smiling.

"so what's up Tutor-Girl ?"

"hey tigger. Nothing. You ?"

"did you see Nathan yesterday ?"

I smile and she claps her hands in delight but before she says anything else, Nathan enters and walks towards us. He sits near me and smiles to Brooke.

"hey Brooke, I didn't know Haley tutors you too ?"

"yeah right, as if I am crazy. I don't want more homeworks, believe me"

"ok, so maybe you can leave and Haley and I can start to study"

Brooke stares at me, she's not stupid. She takes her books and gets up.

"see you later Tutor-Girl. You too pretty-boy"

she walks away with a smile.

"this girl is so crazy"

Nathan slides his hands on my knee and strokes it gently. God, is it me or is it hot in here ? he is driving me crazy.

"you look tired... is it because of me and our session yesterday, because if it is, I can't come at night to see you and..."

before he continues, I pinch him not too hard.

"I'm sick, I think. I throw up every morning since 5 days"

"very sexy, James."

I smile a little and I close my book. He takes my hands and kisses it.

"thank you for yesterday. It was..."

"interresting ?"

"good !"

He starts to kiss my neck and I close my eyes. This is so good. My hands go on his chest and I feel his piecing trough the tissu of his sweater.

"this is incredibly sexy, you know that"

"glad that you like"

Fortunatly, there is nobody in the tutoring center except us. He never went here before and I don't know why he is here but that's ok if he keeps doing what he does with his mouth.

"so tonight, you're free ?"

"euh, no, sorry. Brooke tells me we are going to this club and I can't cancel"

"club ? you Haley James going in the club"

"yeah why not ?"

"it's just. Clubs are created to drink and hook-up, that's not the scene where you belong"

ok, this is so wrong. Who does he think I'm ? why can't I do what the others do ?

"yeah and I'm not a slut but I sleep with you every night since two months whitout nobody know"

"I already told you, you're not a slut"

now I just want him to go. I want to be alone and prepare myself for tonight.

"look, I have a lot of works so you can go"

"what did I say ?"

like always he says the wrong thing. Nathan scott is an idiot, I knew that before but now I have a new word for him he is a jerk.

"nothing, ok. I want to be alone"

"yeah, right."

He gets up and leans over to kiss my forehead.

"I call you later"

"don't bother"

this wins his attention, he looks at me and put his two large hands on the table in front of me.

"why are you such a bitch this morning ?"

"it doesn't disturb you yesterday, does it ?"

"I like when you are a bitch to me when I know that I can deal with it but now, I don't know what I did and why you are upset with me and it's really irritating"

I get up too and I move in front of him. His eyes lock into mine and suddenly I just want to kiss him again. He has this effect on me, I can't help it, it is just his charisma, his confidence but I can't let this go away.

"you know what, I'll go to this club and maybe I'll drink and after that I will certainly be fucking some guy who will be around"

his jaw clenches and I know he is upset, I know his gesture when he's angry but I didn't know that I can make him angry.

"you know, you are not the only one who can have fun in this relation. I want to do that, I mean you're a good teacher, I'm sure I can make a boy happy, don't I ?"

why can't I shut my mouth ? I speak too much and I know he doesn't like it. His eyes narrow and his fists tighten. God, what did I do ? Nathan is the most impatient person that I know and something tells me that I have run out of his limits.

"Do what you want but don't except from me to touch you if you do this !"

"so you can do it but not me ?"

"how can you say that I fuck others girls since the last two months, you aren't there with me ?"

"it's your fault and you know that !"

"no, it is yours. You are ashamed of me"

ok, I'm in the fourth dimension. I, Haley James, ashamed with a guy popular, athletic and handsome like him.

" you don't want to talk about me at your little friend Lucas because you are too afraid of what he thinks. You are the one who stops our relationship at this sex's stage not me."

He grabs his bag and heads for the doors quickly. I didn't know that he wants our relationship will be official but somewhere he was right. I can't even imagine Lucas's face if he knows about that. I need a distraction... I need to found Brooke...

* * *

I am late for my next class but I really don't care. I see Brooke and Peyton to their lockers and I head for them rapidly. When they see me, they are a little embarrassed and I don't know why.

"guys, I need to talk"

they don't say anything and it's worry me but I keep talking.

"ok, no question ? what's happens ?"

I'm pretty sure Brooke tells everything about Nate and I to Peyton and I'm grateful she did because I don't think I'll have the courage to tell her. Brooke nods to something behind me. I turn around and I see Nathan and some cheerleader making out against his locker. My world collapses and I don't know how my legs stand up because I don't have the strength to stay up anymore.

"this is a good question, what's happens between you two ? Things were pretty good later"

"yeah, it was later and now things are changed. About tonight, is it ok ?"

Brooke nods to me and Peyton looks at us. I walk away and make for the exit door to the high school. I need to clean my head and I can't do that here, so I leave.

* * *

almost 9:00 pm, Brooke will be there soon and I don't know what to wear. I am not used to go to club and I just hope Brooke will advice me about my outfit. I sit all day in my room. I locked my door so nobody can come in. When I heard the door's bell and I run in the hall. I open and I see Lucas standing in front of me.

"hey... why are you here ?"

"yeah my day was good too. I was in class but you aren't there so I decide to visit you to know what's up for you ?"

"I was sick but I'm better now... thank you but now you have to leave"

"why ? do you expect someone else of my family ? like my brother ?"

his eyes are hard on me and I don't know what to say but I heard Brooke's voice and I feel grateful to her presence.

"hey broody. What's up ?"

"Brooke ? I didn't know you have to come here !"

"Tutor-Girl and I go somewhere tonight but you're not invited"

she sees that I am not ready and her face falls.

"don't tell me, you are not coming"

"no it's ok. I have nothing to wear so I was thinking you could help me"

"no problem, I'm the fashion's queen"

she enters in my house and turns to Lucas.

"sorry, gorgeous, this show is only for girls. She calls you tomorrow"

I wave to Lucas and he smiles to me before Brooke closes the door.

"now we have to make you sexy..."

and when I see her smile, I'm getting worry. Brooke is somebody with a reputation and in the last two days she shows me something she hides but I don't know why but something tells me that tonight I'll learn where is this reputation from.

* * *

This is my third beer and I felt dizzy. Brooke dances with a tall guy and I can say she's flirting with him. How can she do this ? I mean the boy touches her everywhere and she doesn't mind. Maybe Brooke does that because she's lonely and maybe I have to do the same.

Somebody sits next to me and I see a blond guy, he is handsome but less than Nathan.

"you are alone here ?"

"no, I'm with a friend"

"I'm Kevin by the way"

"Haley"

he smiles to me and watches the pool table.

"want to do a game ?"

I nod and he helps me to get up. He sees that I'm drunk. We start to play but I suck, so he decides to help me. He moves behind me and takes my hand. We don't talk because there is nothing to say, I know what he wants and even if I don't want that I can't help it, I am to drunk I can't think normally.

"I think we need to go out no ?"

I nod. It's so not me. I just want to run away from him but my body doesn't respond. When Kevin blocks me against the wall and begins to kiss me, I try to push him away but he doesn't move.

"hey, get away from her"

I know this voice, it's him. I'm so glad he is here.

"what do you want ? is she your girlfriend ?"

"yes, she is. Now leave her alone"

"sorry can't do that, she wants me"

I don't know what happens next but I don't feel Kevin's weight on me and I heard Nathan insults the guy. I slide alond the wall and close my eyes. Everything is too loud and my head hurts really bad. Two hands grabs me and force me to get up.

"baby, open your eyes"

Nathan's voice. The only noise that I can bear. He puts my head against his chest and I can breath his scent. It's so perfect, he strokes my hair and my hands are on his back, we stay awhile like this. The thing between us is so unclear and so difficult.

"you need to sleep, you've been drinking too much"

I can barely walk and he helps me.

"Brooke is inside, I can't go whitout her"

he says something that I can't understand and lead me to his car. After he put me on the backseat, he closes the door and goes. I felt really tired and I lie down, my head still hurts and I close my eyes. After that I don't know.

* * *

When I wake up, I don't recognize my room. There are sketches on the wall and a computer. Where I am ? I feel somebody beside me and when I look I see Brooke starting to stir up.

"Brooke, wake up !"

"I warn you she is violent when she wakes up"

I turn my head to see Peyton standing in the doorway. She smiles a little but doesn't move.

"why I am here ?"

"Nathan take you two, this night. You were drunk and he didn't want you to be ill alone so he came here"

I start to feel this taste in my mouth.

"bathroom ?"

"here"

She points at the door closed in her room and I rush inside. Like always I throw up... and it's not pretty. I'm happy Nathan is not here to see me like this.

"you need to see a doctor"

"yeah, I have an appointment this afternoon"

I wash my face and I see how pale I am. This is not me... this is just my shadow. I don't know who I'm anymore and I don't know how come back to the old me.

"why you didn't tell me about you and Nate ?"

"tell you what..."

"stop playing gam..."

"tell you that I'm a slut, no his slut... I'm my best friend's enemy's slut ? you want me to say this because it is what I am. I'm a bitch who is at his disposal and I can't even change that"

"why ? did he threaten you ? this is why you do this things with him ?"

"no, it's because I want it"

Peyton is chocked. She stares at me and is unable to say something coherent.

"I love him, I love to spend time with him and I love being near him... I'm crazy about him. I really wanted to talk to you but you are his ex... and he hurted you and I don't know how explain this thing, it's just too difficult. I can't even look at myself in the mirror because I feel dirty and I don't want people stares at me like you do now, I don't want your pity and I don't need it."

"Haley, you are my friend and I don't judge you. You want this with Nathan, fine by me, go ahead but you have to know that when I'll be there when he'll hurt you"

she doesn't even hide the fact that Nathan will hurt me soon, she knows him too well. She knows this guy is a problem himself, he can't change and particularly with me.

* * *

So did you like it ??? Rewiews please 


	4. It's too unreal

Thank you guys for all your reviews, I really appreciate them... Many of you think Haley is pregnant and in this chapter there is the answer... TinyDancer7 I think you are right, he feels something for her but he doesn't know... ok enjoy it....

* * *

I reach my locker and I just want to be home again. After Brooke wakes up, Peyton drives us to our homes so we can change our clothes and take a shower, then she drives us to school. I don't know what happens yesterday night but I know that Nathan was here and somewhere I think he was here to spy on me, to see if I can do what I told him about me flirting and having sex with strangers. My locker is a mess... This is not my locker !!!! I mean I'm too organized with myself to have a locker like this... I start to clean up when I feel somebody behind me. 

"how's your head ?"

"hurting..."

I turn myself to see Nathan smiling at me. Is he still angry at me ?

"so... you're not with your new toy ?"

"what are you talking about ?

"yesterday, you kissed this cheerleader..."

Nathan sigh and I turn again to arrange my locker. He puts one hand on my shoulder and force me to look in this eyes.

"I was angry, I'm sorry..."

my mouth is dry and I pretty sure all the eyes in the hallway are on us. He leans over to kiss me and I realize what he is doing but I don't do something to stop him but he stops anyway.

"I don't love you... you know that... but I can learn"

and then, he kisses me. God this is incredible. I feel his hands on my back pressing me against him. I encircle my arms around him and I respond to his kiss. When he starts to pulls away, I felt empty again.

"I have practice. See you later, ok ?"

I nod and he releases me. I can't believe he did this, he kissed me in the hallway in font of his friends, my friends... he starts to walk away and when I turn to look in my locker, I see him... Lucas was here and saw everything. He comes to me with his angry face.

"tutoring huh ? I didn't know you are tutoring him the kissing and you are learning how to be a bitch and a liar"

he doesn't even let me respond, he turns his back to me and leaves... when did my world start to break down ? oh, I know when I said 'ok Nathan, I will sleep with you but you'll leave Lucas alone' and now it's look like I'm the one alone.

* * *

When I come in the cafeteria, I see Lucas eating. I want to go to see him but I know he doesn't want it. I notice Brooke and Peyton. They wave at me and I head to them. 

"look like somebody is sad !"

Brooke reads in me like I'm a open book. Peyton shift forward to let me sit.

"Lucas saw me when Nathan kisses me this morning"

"oh you mean when you were practically removing your clothes in the hallway to do it ?"

"yeah... and we aren't"

Peyton drinks her water and looks at me oddly.

"what ?"

"it's just... this morning, you said that Nathan didn't want a relationship so..."

"I don't know what's up with him but I don't complain about his change of mind"

"except the part where you lose your best friend"

"yeah, this is so... arghh... I hate my life at this point"

Brooke looks at something behind me and smiles. I saw Nathan and Tim enter in the cafeteria. They laugh at something that Tim said. Nathan stares at me but somebody pushes him and everything starts to degenerate into fight. I see now who was pushing Nate, it was Lucas...

* * *

I am at work and I can't concentrate on the customers. My mind is on Lucas and Nathan's fight. I can't believe Luke has been so stupid. Peyton called me earlier and said that Lucas and Nathan were suspended for the game tomorrow night. 

"Haley, something is wrong ?"

Karen is like a mother to me. She is always here when I need her and over the years she was more present than anybody else. I don't know how can I tell her all the story, maybe she will be disappointed, maye she won't love me.

"nothing, everything is cool. You ?"

before she says anything, Lucas comes in. When he sees me, he stops. I keep looking at him and he does the same. Karen watches the exchange but stays out of this. I know Lucas since I am 9 and I'm always considered like my brother and now I betray him with his real brother, this is so wrong. He keeps looking at me and I don't move.

"Haley, there are customers waiting"

Karen grabs my arms and forces me to stop looking at her son. She leads me to the back. Once we are in the kitchen, she crosses her arm.

"what's happen with Lucas ?"

"I... he... we have a fight and it is all my fault"

"what do you mean ? there is nothing that Lucas can hold against..."

"he saw me kissing Nathan"

"except that"

Karen is uncomfortable and I see why. She doesn't have a good memory about this part of the Scott family.

"are you... with Nathan... you... wanted this kiss ?"

"yes. I mean it. We are together since the last two months and we... are... pretty close"

"close ? how close ?"

I close my eyes. How can I say that to her ? she's my mother... pratically. I feel the need to tell her everything but the decency don't allow that.

"close... very close"

"oh, you mean.. you had sex with him ?"

"yes"

"God Haley, had you use protection ?"

"sure, this boy is a condom distributor... sorry"

now, I feel better. I joke about my relation with Nathan and it's good. Karen is cool. She takes everything pretty well but I know she is in shock.

"Haley, you know condoms are not reliable. There is a risk... and you throw up a lot"

now, I don't feel better anymore. I never think about pregnancy since I used condoms with Nathan each time. She sees that she's scaring me and she opens her arms. When she hugs me, I start to cry. God, this can't be happening. Two months ago, everything was normal and now I loose my best friend and maybe I'm pregnant... what can I do except cry ?

* * *

I'm standing in the waiting room and I really get scary. What if Karen is right ? what if I'm pregnant ? what if Nathan doesn't want this baby ? what if I end up alone with my baby ? I will be the Karen the new generation... 

"Mrs James"

the doctor calls me and I walk towards her... God, this is so hard. I enter in the room.

"please sit down... so, mrs James. What are you symptoms ?"

"I throw up a lot, I'm tired everytime..."

the doctor takes notes but she lays down the pen and looks at me.

"Are you sexually active?"

"yeah, since two months"

"I think we have to do a pregnancy test, to be sure"

"no problem"

and after that, I just did what the doc said... it was too unreal... too fast... I don't think anymore, I'm just an automate... I have to wait the response to this test and I'll see after that. No need to worry now.

* * *

Brooke is here, in my house. We talk about everything and she relates her relations one by one. I think this is funny how she does this. A sort of play-girl... not a slut or a bitch... just an experienced-woman. Someone knocks on the door and I slowly get up and open it. It's Nathan. His face is bruised and I feel guilty about it. He leans over and kisses me hottly. 

"Brooke is here"

"no, Brooke WAS here"

I see Brooke takes her jacket and leaves my house. Nathan shuts the door and starts to kiss me.

"glad to see you too..."

"I miss you... God, are you more beautiful than this morning ?"

"don't know... but you are sexier with your bruises... "

he laughs and trace the line of my jaw with his fingers. He is so tender with me... I can't think when he is with me. All I want to do is to touch him, caress him, make love with him. He's starting to kiss my neck when my mobile rings.

"don't answer"

"it must be important"

I know it is important. It must be the doctor and I need to answer.

"the doctor says she calls me later and now it is later"

"ok, you can go"

"hello... yes, this is her... really... thank you..."

when I hang up, Nathan puts his hands on my hips and his chin on my shoulders.

"are you ill ?"

what can I say ? yes, I'm pregnant. By the way, you are the father now we can be happy forever ! No I can't say anything.

"I'm just on stress. Everything is ok."

"you are sure ?"

"yes. Maybe we can postpone our little date in my bedroom later, because I am very tired"

"no problem"

he kisses me a goodbye and left. God what am I goind to do ? I'm only 16, I can't be pregnant... I need to tell this to someone.. so I call the only person who can comfort me.

"it's me... please come to my house... I really need you"

Lucas doesn't sound happy when he hearded my voice and I don't know if he'll come but I really hope he will because I need my best friend, I need him and only him.

* * *

I see him entering in my house. His face was angry. I have cried since the last hour and I can't stop. Lucas is standing in front of me but say or do nothing. So I do the only thing that I can do I throw against him and I cry harder. When he closes his arms around me, I lost my strength and he has to carry me to my room. He places me on the bed and lay down next to me. He strokes my hair tenderly and I manage to calm me down. 

"please tell me why you are doing this..."

I have to tell him the truth, he deserves it. I just don't know how I can starting so I start with the beginning.

"two months ago..."

"two months ? you lie to me for this long"

"please don't interrupt me.. so two months ago, when you joined the team and Nathan beginned to annoy you. I went to see him... and I told him that he had to stop this. He suggest an agreement, I slept with him and he'll stop harassing you. First I said no, but when he takes you away this night, I said yes. After that we slept together and we keep doing it since."

"I hate this story"

I don't need to look at him to know that he is angry at me and Nathan.

"I don't know what I can do... this story is so complicated and I know I need you more than ever."

"you don't want him anymore ?"

"Lucas, you have to listen to me. I care about him and... I'm pregnant"

with that, I cry harder. God, I don't know what else to do.

"you are pregnant ? no you can't"

"believe me, I wish I'm not but I... God, I'm so stupid"

"that's okay, everything will be fine, I'll be there and he will be there"

"he doesn't even know and really, it's dan's son... and now, I'm your mother..."

"this is a wrong picture, you know that... wait a second, I'm keith ?"

"Lucas, what I am going to do ?"

"you want to keep it ?"

this is a good question. I'm 16, I go to high school, I don't have money... can I keep his baby ?

* * *

The first thing I'll do when I'll see Nathan will be to tell everything about me and his baby, after that I'll see how I'll react. Maybe he will love the idea and we will become a big family... When I see him he is with Tim. God I can't tell him that I'm pregnant if his best friend is here. They walk towards me and I can't escape. 

"Haley"

he leans over to kiss me but I don't move. Now he knows that something is wrong with me.

"you didn't call me yesterday"

"I was with Lucas"

I say the truth... Lucas stayed with me until midnight and after that I slept. I needed to spend time with him, he had always be my rock and yesterday he was there despite of my latest actions.

"so, you stayed with my brother and you didn't call me ?"

"it is what I said, didn't I ?'

Nathan gives a look to Tim and the boy get away. This is not good. I think that if looks can kill, I'll be dead now. Nathan doesn't like my behaviour and makes me understand clearly now. He grabs my hand and takes me in the closest classroom.

"what's up with you now ? your little friend gives you a lecture and you decided to be the perfect bitch ? or maybe you have regrets about us and you want me to break up with you ?"

he starts to get on my nerves. Why is it always difficult to talk to him ? he is too confident and he thinks too much of him.

"you want me to answer to which one first ? oh by the way, don't dare talking about Lucas now, he is the only person who was innocent in this story."

"yeah, he is a fucking innocent. He punches me yesterday, do you remember that ? he is the reason I can't play tonight... he is the responsible for us."

"the responsible ? do you think about us like a big mistake because you know what I can change that, if you want this I can say it for you. IT IS OVER BETWEEN US"

"don't say that"

"why ? this is what you want no ? you don't love me, so there is no problem for you to let me go"

I remember the last time that I have irritated him and the memory of the night is still in my mind, but now I don't know what's happen next, he seems so... stoic. I want to slap him hard but before I do something, I heard Brooke's voice.

"your yellings are great, really but the school doesn't want to know your little problems"

he keeps looking at me and finally I break our eyes contact to look to Brooke. She smiles at me.

"hey, you go with me to my class ?"

I take my bag and look once more time to Nathan, I want to have the last word, something who can shut him up, it's now or never.

"by the way, Lucas is not responsible about my pregnancy, I assure you it's yours."

I go away with Brooke. I didn't want to tell him like this but now it's done and nothing can come to change the fact. Brooke crosses her arm with mine and suddenly, I regret to speak before I think. She doesn't talk but I know her...

"ask your question !"

"are you really pregnant or are you just freaking him out ?"

"no, I'm pregnant"

"that's big... even for you Tutor-Girl"

and I do know how right she is... it is too big, I need help, someone who knows about babies, pregnancy and teenager's pregnancy. Now I know who... I need to see Karen but not alone...

"Brooke ? what do you do the next few hours ?"

she looks at me more than surprised and choked but after she shakes her head behind me. When I turn around I see Nathan standing here, looking at me.

"Brooke, I want you to come with me"

I think she thinks I'm talking about Nathan so she nods but I grab her hand and take her out from high school. This day is gonna be hell.

* * *


	5. It's hard to say 'no'

Karen puts two coffee in front of us and sits down. I think she doesn't understand why Brooke is here but she make any comments. I take a sip of my coffee and look at Karen.

"you don't leave the time for him to say anything, you just go ?"

"I think run is the word..."

Brooke is trying to sound happy and jocks about this but somehow I know she is concerned. She holds on my hand and never leave it.

"baby, you need to speak to Nathan, he is the father of your child, you can't do that"

"what's happen next ? I tell you, this boy is like his father, he will run away and I don't want this, I prefer to be the one who run away, my baby won't have to know his father. I have a family, I have you and keith and Luke, this is enough. I don't need Nathan"

"you don't understand. You can't do that to your baby. Remember, I didn't want to tell Luke about dan but someday he knew and he was hurt... you can't to that to your baby"

Brooke doesn't the full story about Lucas and dan, but I think she wants to know, I think she has interrest in Lucas. But that doesn't sound like Brooke davis.

"but Lucas was always happy. He has you and keith. This is the same situation. My baby will have his uncle and his father will be somewhere else with someone he'll love."

This is what hurt the most... Nathan with somebody else, in love...

"and maybe, Nathan cares about you and want this baby..."

she trails off when the door's ring bell. Someone enters in the coffee even if it's closed.

"I knew you will be here"

God, it's only Lucas. I was getting so nervous. He sits next to me and put one arm around my shoulder.

"so... you have a girl's chat... I'm in"

"I knew you were too gorgeous and too sweet to be a hetero"

Lucas smiles to Brooke... God, I'm going to puke again if they do this one more time... their flirtation is sweet but I need advices no flirting between my friends...

"anyway, now what is done is done. But I just don't want to face him again"

"what ? you told about the baby to Nathan ?"

"yeah, she did but miss-coward here had run away before he knew what happen..."

Brooke is good to summarize my story and Lucas seems to understand. He nods and hugs me a little. God, it is good to be in his arms. He starts to strock my hair and I feel Brooke's hand go away. Now, it's a best friends time and she knows it. Karen looks at Brooke and nods to the counter. They leave and Lucas tighten his grip.

"tell me you'll be there for my baby"

"you know that"

I think again when he was joking yesterday. He is Keith and I'm Karen... God, they always told us to be careful because pregnancy was something real... and I do know now.

* * *

Lucas and Brooke had insisted to stay with me. I don't really need someone but it's comforting and I know if Nathan comes, he won't be able to come in. God this day was stressful and it feels good to lie down. Brooke comes in my bedroom and lie next to me.

"Lucas is downstairs. He said he was hungry"

"thank you for being here, to help through this"

"it's ok"

she put her head on my shoulder and I close my eyes. I heard Lucas enters in my room and sits on my chair. I know he is ill at ease with this weird situation and I'm very grateful he stays anyway.

I heard some noise on my window. Brooke and I get up from the bed and we join Lucas, already by the window.

"what is he doing here ?"

"I don't know"

Lucas opens the window and looks at Nathan. I'm hiding behind him and I'm content with listenning.

"get the hell out of here"

"I want to talk to Haley"

"no, she doesn't want it."

I think he knows I'm here but he is still talking to Lucas.

"it is nothing to do with you, just tell her I want to talk to her... Haley, please, listen to me. We have to talk about this. This is our future, we have to discuss."

"stay away from her..."

"Haley, please... come here or let me in and we can talk"

Brooke holds my hand and squeeze it.

"now or never... It's time to talk to him"

"Brooke, would you shut up ?"

obviously, Lucas doesn't want me to talk to his brother but Brooke is right, I have to talk to him.

"Lucas, I need to talk to him... He has the right to..."

"the right to knock you up ? the right to use you ?"

"Lucas, stop it... your mother and Brooke have right, he is the father"

Lucas gets out of my room and goes open the door. Brooke and I folow him and I really get scared.

"you have five minutes to talk to her. Any insult, any bad comment and I kick your ass"

Nathan doesn't care about what Lucas said, he runs to me and hugs me.

"God, how is it happens ? we were careful each time"

"I'm sorry"

he tightens his hold on me and I feel less scared. God, how does he do that ? each time, he makes me feel gool and safe.

"maybe it's time for us to go, Lucas"

"no way, I don't leave her with him"

I see Brooke grabs Lucas's arm and leads him outside. She closes the door behind them.

"I'm so glad you're here Nate... I was so scared"

"I know but soon it'll be over"

ok, this was not in my scenario... what does he mean ? soon ? no, a child last an eternity... except when the mother has an abortion.

"What ?"

"yeah, next week, we can have an appointement to get an abortion and it will be over"

"no way... who do you think I'm ? no I have a better question, who do I think you are ? I had to know that when you found about this baby you'll want this... are you stupid ? don't you care about me and my feelings ?"

"Haley, I care about you, you know that... but we are too young and a baby is not wanted now... you have to go to College and I have Basketball..."

"yeah you right, you have basketball... why don't you sleep with basketball ? maybe you can find your happiness..."

"stop doing that, basketball is not everything in my life... and it doesn't change our situation... this baby is not going to help our relation and you know that"

this time is too hard to resist to the temptation to slap him... the slap is stong and loud and after I beat him, my hand come to my mouth. Nahtan stares at me.

"I won't get an abortion... if you want it or not, I am gonna have this baby..."

he turns over and opens the door.

"hey, Nathan"

he turns to me and I think he wants me to tell him that I will do what he asks

"congratulations, you are your father now"

I go upstairs and I lie down on my bed... God, it was so hard to tell him that... now I think it really over between us. I think that I become the karen 2004... and I think it will be hard to raise a child. I heard the door closing and I feel relieved. Now, he is gone... out of my house, out of my life and out of my child's life... Things are really complicated now.

* * *

When I walk in the hall of the high school, I feel every look on me , God, I'm terrified, did they know about me and my pregnancy ? did they know about the end of my relationship with Nate ?

"hey... the rumor says you are pregnant ?"

I look over my shoulder and see Peyton walking behind me.

"the rumor is true... I'm pregnant and now I'm embarrased that everybody knows it"

"yeah, but are you ok ? I mean..."

"it's cool. Everything is fine... except Nathan... but it's ok"

"Nathan ? what is the problem with this guy ?"

"he wants an abortion !"

just when Peyton are going to insult him. I see him in the hallway with Tim and two others guys... He doesn't look good but it's not my problem anymore. I keep walking with Peyton to my side. Before Nathan can talk to me, Brooke slips on my other side and I don't know why but I know he doesn't dare talk to me with them beside me.

"God, is it me or looks are all on me ?"

"you don't dream, Tutor-Girl, everybody knows about you and Nathan... they even talk about it in the bathroom. Congratulations, you are popular now"

I laugh a little. Brooke always knows how recomfort me. It's good to have her and Peyton as friends, but my problems are not solved. Lucas joins us in our walk.

"so, it's a feminist's walk ?"

"not anymore, gorgeous. Now, it's became anti-Nathan's walk"

"fine by me"

this two really need to get a room. Even Peyton next too me sees it, the flirt between the two is obvious and if they don't sleep together soon, I'm gonna lock them in a room myself.

"anyway, Lucas have you your notes in History ?"

"yeah, on my desk... in my room, sorry"

"can I come after class to take them, I really need them to study tonight"

"I'm so proud of you, I was thinking you never said that again"

I reach my locker and when I open it, a lettre falls on the floor. Peyton picks it up and hands it to me. I begin to read it but after 5 seconds, I throw it in my locker.

"ok, you have friends here, who want to know about this letter... Come on, read it to us, no to me, you know me, I'm Brooke and I'm curious, you need to read the letter for my mental's health"

"Brooke, you really need help"

"you are my help... give me the letter and everything will be ok with me..."

I sigh and look at Peyton who look away. So much for my friends.

"it's Nathan ? it's a letter from him ? God, I do need to read it, you can't refuse me this"

"it's personal ok ?"

"what ? more personal that your pregnancy ?"

she gets a point, but I can't do that, I can't tell everyone what Nathan writes me

"he just said he was sorry and nothing else. Now, we go to class"

I close my locker and look one more time to Nathan on his locker with Tim. God, he's too sexy.

* * *

I need to get away from the others students. They look at me and it feels very weird. How the popular guys can support this ? how Nathan... no I must think of something else... too bad, he decides to stay in my mind. I see him standing in the tutoring center. Maybe it's nothing to do with me, he just needs help... this tought goes away when he spots me and starts walking to me.

"hey, I really want to talk to you"

"What a shame ! I don't want that"

he looks frustrated and I feel guilt about this. I don't want him to feel bad, I'm bad enough for us together... he extends his arm and touchs mine and this time I can't control myself, he is my drug. When I touch him I can't get enough from him, I need to deepen the touch and whitout thinking, I lean closer to him and I kiss his neck. His hands are on my back and travel until they come to my ass. He grabs it and carry me against the wall.

"I miss this too much, you are everything to me now"

I don't know why he is telling me this, maybe he accepts the baby now. This will be so great, Nathan, the baby and I...

"I need to talk to you"

"do you want this baby now ?"

now, he moves away from me and I know he doesn't even consider this option. I feel stupid and dirty again.

"Haley, listen... I'm not ready for this... you aren't neither and you know that"

"Nathan, I want it... this baby is a part of me... I..."

"I know that and I understand but you need to know it is too soon... my family won't approve and yours neither... how will be able to live if we don't have money or home ?"

"that doesn't matter... I'll quit school and I will work harder at the café, maybe I will be able to take a second job and my baby will be happy... our baby will be happy if you are his father"

Nathan looks deeply in my eyes and his hands are now on my cheeks, I feel his breath on my face and I hold mine.

"I can't"

with that, he walks away from the tutoring center. Now I know where we stand.

* * *

"Tutor-Girl, I have some news who can make you happy"

"you finally decided to talk to Lucas about your hot dreams about him ?"

she smirks and sits down next to me.

"this afternoon is yours. Peyton, you and me, we are going to shopping. You need some clothes and your baby too... tell me I'm your new best friend"

"shopping is not my fancy dream but you are close to it"

"anyway, you are not perfect but that's ok, Peyton listens crappy music... but who said you can change ?"

I can't believe she is so childish when she talks about cloths or fashion.

"you need a life, you know that ?"

"yeah, I prefer take care of my friends' life. Be ready at 3"

"Brooke..."

"you can't say no and you know that"

she is right, I can't say no... I never said no to Nathan before and I don't know why but something tells me that in the future I won't be able to say no to him.

* * *


	6. It is a good time for a party

Thankfor all your reviews. i really appreciate it. I hope you'll like this chapter... HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!

* * *

"Tutor-Girl, you need to change your taste in clothes"

"really ? what do I have to wear to make you happy ?"

Brooke shows me a top and grins. It's very tight and I ask myself if I can wear this

"Brooke is right... you need to wear something more slutty !"

"no way, I'm not gonna wear this... and I think we are shopping for the baby"

"we are, but your baby needs a sexy mother no ?"

I take the top and go to cabin.

"If I don't feel good in it, you can persuade me to buy it, you know that..."

* * *

I can't believe they convince me to buy this... and two tops almost alike. This girls are crazy... 

"you gonna be perfect for tonight"

"what's happen tonight ?"

I really don't like the conversation right now. Brooke looks guilty and Peyton watches elsewhere. They scheme something and it scares me. They don't talk and I know they up to something.

"Haley, you have to stay cool about what we are going to tell you... you need to relax"

"Brooke, you're scaring me, tell me..."

"tonight, there is a game and after that... a party"

"I'm not going"

"oh, you have to... Lucas will be there, we'll be there"

"like the rest of the team and Nathan... the boy I don't want to see again"

Brooke liftes her bag and smiles.

"we are gonna show to this damn boy what he misses. You will be sexy and you'll be with us... what do you want most that it ?"

"stay at home. Read a book. Watch some tv. There are plenty of things more interresting that I can do"

Peyton puts a hand on my shoulders

"you need to come... parties are fun... eventually"

"especially when you are pregnant with a jock's child who doesn't want it !"

"ok, stop being pathetic... you come... conversation over"

I watch them and I wonder how I can let them to this to me... I just can't... seeing him at school is harder to me but to a party...

* * *

I hate Brooke for making me wearing this top and this jeans, I hate Peyton for making me come to this party and I hate Lucas to agree with them. A party is not what I need now. I need to stay home, to relax and I really need Nathan's arms around me again. I'm standing in the kitchen with a soda in my hand... I want to take some alcohol but now I'm pregnant and it's certainly not recommended for the baby. 

"I didn't know you'll be here tonight"

God, he is behind me and we are alone. I'm in his house and it's his party it was certain I'll meet him... why hadn't I thinking about this before ? Now I hate more and more my three friends.

"yeah, Brooke and Peyton will want come so here I'm !"

"you are closer to them than before"

"yeah I lost you I won someone else"

ok, this is not the right thing to say. What I am doing ? it's not like I can talk to him politely... no, he doesn't deserve that, he wants to abandon me and my child... I don't have to have regrets... he deserves more than my little verbal's fight.

"Haley, we talked about that and you know what I think... I want you, only you. I don't want to have to deal with a baby at only 16 and I really can't imagine me cornered like this"

"more I talk to you more I want to slap you"

"don't be like that"

"be like what ? a person with feelings ? an adult ? you really need to grow up Nathan because this child is here and I'm happy to have it"

now, more than ever I want to get drunk... I want to forget everything about my relationship with this jerk and I want to run away from him

"Haley, I promise you... if you get an abortion, it will be an us again... don't keep this baby"

"you know what... I don't want you anymore and more important, I don't need you"

I put my glass on the counter and I go out of the kitchen. And I come in the living room, I notice Peyton talking to Jake... this is unbelievable and it happens only in Tree Hill. I don't see Lucas but I see Brooke and Tim talking, when she sees me, she waves at me and I have no other choice except join her and her conversation with my ex's best friend.

"so Tutor-Girl, any luck tonight ?"

"no, especially in the kitchen"

I remark Nathan going out and I sigh. Why is it so hard for us to be together like all the couples around us ?

"hey, Haley. Is it true ? are you really pregnant with Nathan's baby ?"

"If I say no, will you believe me ?"

"everybody talks about this... The biggest new of Tree Hill since... Lucas's birth I think"

"God, I'm Karen now..."

I sigh once again and turn to Brooke.

"I think I'm gonna go walk on the beach ok ?"

"you want company ?"

"no, really I'm good. Maybe you can go to talk to Lucas... I'm sure you'll find something to talk about... and don't talk about me because it's very not the good subject now to begin to have sex"

"I'm sure I can find something"

I smile to her and I go. Once I'm outside, I'm feeling better. I start walking and I can think about anything except Nathan. I love him, I'm sure of it but I know he doesn't but I can't accept the fact he doesn't want the baby...

"you look for me ?"

"no, you are not my world anymore, don't you remember ?"

"Haley... I just want to talk to you. Not about the baby, or our relationship"

"there is nothing to talk except that"

he sits down on the sand and looks at me. I settle next to him and he takes my hand.

"did you have a fight with your father again ?"

"no, my mother"

I didn't know Deb was in town and when she's around, they never fight...

"I tell her about us... she started to yell at me and I wanted to defend myself... I was a jerk"

"you still are... Nathan, this is your thing... People are good to ride horses or be quiet more than 30 seconds and you, you are good to be a jerk and play basketball..."

"it's true... I play well to basketball..."

he starts laughing and I think this is the first time we speak about his life... sometimes when he came at night, after a fight with his father, he spoke a little about how he was angry and how he hated him.

"what did your mother say ?"

"she says that if I wanted you to have an abortion, I was really my father's son... did you know he wanted an abortion for Karen ? he asked her and she said no"

"yeah, I knew... come on, I have grow up around them, I know all the shit your father puts on Karen and Lucas."

"you know when I look at myself in the mirror, I want to do the right things but in the end... it's always the same... I screw everything and everyone... I hate this, I really hate this"

"maybe you can change..."

this conversation leads nowhere... he keeps telling me things opposite. He doesn't want the baby but he doesn't want look like his father.

"when I picture my future life in College, I don't see a child... maybe later, but not now"

"this is the problem Nathan, this baby is here... you can't deny this... maybe you will be there for it or maybe not... it's your choice... and it's my last attempt to make accept it... it's too hard for me, everytime it hurts because you push me, so I ask you once more time, do you want the baby ?"

I'm pretty sure, he will say no, but I can't help it, I have to ask him. I have to make sure, he doesn't want to do anything with me... and I ask him because deep inside of me, I want him to say yes.

"how can we do this ? a baby is a big step and you said it, I'm a jerk... maybe I'll be a jerk to this baby... I'll be like my father and the baby will hate me... this is how is gonna be"

"when I said you are a jerk, I meant with the others... with me, you are different.. you are nice"

"yeah, like when I said I didn't want this baby or when I pushed you away"

"even when you said this... Nathan, you don't know how much I love you... this is why I can bear your ego... you are wonderful in my eyes... Nathan... you are everything"

I talk with my heart. Maybe with that, he'll say yes... I guess something in his eyes, something I can't name...

"ok"

"ok ? are you ok for what I think ? you are ok with the baby ?"

I can repress my happiness, I smile like ever. I kneel down between his legs and I feel his hands on my hips.

"yeah, everything you want"

this is too much, I start to cry and he places his head against my chest. God this is so good and it's perfect. He starts to kiss my neck. I think he wants to do it now, here on the beach... he unzip my jeans.

"Nathan, we can't do it here"

"there is nobody around, we are alone and I want you now."

"please, we can go to your room, it's more private and I prefer this"

he smiles against my skin and his hands take my ass.

"ok, but everybody are going to see us go in my room... people talks..."

"I don't care... people talks about my pregnancy, let's show them how we made this baby"

* * *

"You and Nate ? he finally accepted the baby ?" 

"yeah... he told me this yesterday"

Brooke smiles and looks towards Lucas waiting to her locker.

"and you and Lucas ?"

"let's just say, he made some things yesterday which changed my mind about a real relationship"

"I don't want to know... but explains me whitout details"

"this boy is great in bed"

I think I'm going to puke... and not because of the pregnancy. Brooke always told what she thinks but just now, she has to keep her mouth shut.

"anyway, I'm glad for you and Nathan... it's about time"

"tell this to him not me. I was ready since the beginning"

we meet Lucas and Brooke kisses him languishly. After that, Lucas looks at me and put his arm around my shoulder.

"so, when I wasn't around you take advantage and you run ?"

"what are you talking about ?"

"yesterday, when I was with Brooke. When I returned you weren't there"

I feel embarrassed now. Lucas thinks I left when he slept with Brooke but I was in the room beside his making love to Nathan. Brooke sees my position.

"hey, gorgeous. You remembered what we were doing in that rooom ? well, Haley did the same with Nathan"

ok, this is not what I think she said. Lucas would hate me for this... he doesn't say anything, he gives me this look that I can't help.

"Lucas, say something... anything... do you hate me ? do you want me to go ?"

"no, it's ok... so you forgave him... what did he say about the baby ?"

"he wants it but we don't know how we are gonna raise a child... we are so young"

I see Peyton and Jake talking near his locker.

"they look cute together"

"maybe broody girl finds his high school's lover"

I notice the face from Lucas and it breaks me. God, he was really in love with her and something tells me he still it. Brooke turns and looks at us.

"it's so cool. You have Nathan, I have gorgeous here and Peyton has Jake... this is a great time in Tree Hill... Friday's party will be so fantastic..."

I totally forgot about Friday's party... do you have to go there ? it's Nathan's house, I can go in and behave normally when I'm pregnant... His mother knows but not his father... God, it'll be a real disaster.

* * *

"hey James" 

I turn my head to see Nathan sits next to me. He kisses my forehead and takes my hand.

"how are you ?"

"fine, you ?"

"perfect... I miss you this morning... hey, you look sexy with this new outfit"

I smile softly and I keep staring at the window. I want to ask him about his father and how he will take it but I don't want to ruin the mood... not now... not here.

"you know about this party Friday ? maybe we can tell about to everyone about the baby, what do you think ? this would be great and my dad won't yell at me"

this boy is thinking sometimes or he is really stupid ? when he say things like this I want to slap him and break up with him.

"tell me it's a really bad joke and soon you'll be more adult ?"

"what, you don't think it's a good idea ?"

"no, it isn't. Do you really imagine us tell to your father and the entire school I'm pregnant during one of those party ? God, this is stupid... How can you play basketball whitout sense of tactic ? You are really a moron... you know that ?"

"tell me it's your hormones who talk because if it is not I think you have a bad character and I want to break up with you..."

he smiles but I'm not amused... His pretty face doesn't work for me now.

"finish your sentence and you'll bless this child because it'll be the only you can have"

"now you are getting scary... I'm a little afraid of you.. this is what you want because you have it"

"I'm sorry... I didn't want to talk to you like this but... I'm a little over-reacted, it's just... we can't tell this Friday, it's too... out of the blue... your father makes a party for the basketball's team and face it, if we want this baby, we are gonna do some sacrifice and baskeball would be one of them... it'll break your father"

he sighs and looks deeply in my eyes.

"it is his dream, not mine... you are my future he is not...this baby is my son and I love him already, if he doesn't understand that, too bad for him, I'll not leave you... not now, not after the birth, not after that"

ok, Nathan Scott are really telling me this to me ??? Haley James, Tutor-Girl ? I can't believe this. Maybe he still doesn't love but maybe soon...

"Haley, look at me... You're my life... you are stick with me now..."

"it's ok, I can deal with that"

* * *


	7. It's Time

Why I'm standing in the Scott's living room... I finally accepted to come to this party and more I'm here more I regret it. Nathan isn't even around, he talks with Tim and his father about basketball or something close. Brooke and Lucas are with Karen, and somewhere I just know it isn't my place right now. Peyton is with Jake and they talk about Jake's daughter. I see Deb come towards me and I feel very ill at ease.

"are you Haley ?"

yes, it's me, your son's pregnant girlfriend... no I can't say that.

"yes, nice to meet you Mrs Scott"

"Call me Deb, please since you are nearly in the family"

Ok, so she wants to talk about this... and suddenly I am feeling uncomfortable. She nods to the kitchen and I follow her. When we come in, she sits on a stool and I do the same.

"so, when I first meet my son's girlfriends, I ask their age or what their parents do but... it seems we are others subjects to discuss..."

Girlfriends ? how many girlfriends Nathan did bring in his house to meet his mother ? I know there is Peyton but I never saw him with others girls in a real relationship

"yeah... I know Nathan told you about our situation and you have to know that I very love your son and I don't want him for his money or anything else..."

"I really hope that... Nathan is a little boy and you are a teenager... do you know how many responsabilities drag along a baby ? I was in your situation and I understand your wish to keep your baby, but you have to make sure that you'll never regret it"

"do you regret Nathan ?"

"I regret my sacrifices. My son is the most beautiful thing I have in my world and I'm proud of him but I can't tell you that I never imagine my life whitout him. I dream about this everyday, I wonder if I didn't do a mistake..."

she doesn't reassure me, she is pretty scary... I don't want to have regrets and I don't want that for Nathan neither...

"I am against an abortion, but you don't have to keep the baby after the birth... adoption is one way, maybe it will be hard but..."

"I'm ready... I want this baby and I'm sure Nathan wants it too"

I stand up and I start to walk away.

"I don't want you to do an abortion or an adoption but I need to know my grand-child will be happy with parents who will love him"

"we will..."

I get out of the kitchen and I bump into Nathan.

"hey you. I didn't see you much since the beginning"

he starts to kiss me and I lose my control. There is only one thing in this world who can have a such effect on me and it's him. When he holds me, I really feel we are going to be together and he is the only man I want.

"you look beautiful... new dress ?"

"yeah, Brooke gave it to me telling me that I need to be more sexy before... you know"

"before you start being fat and ugly and before I start being ashamed of you ?"

"like I said, being a jerk is really easy for you"

I move away from him as he moves to extend his arms to catch me

"Haley, I was joking, baby, you know that"

"no it was so true... you were ashamed of me before and when I'll be fat you will be even more..."

"come on, you are beautiful and you'll always be while your pregnancy..."

I smile a little, he is good to ask forgiveness... he knows that and when he touches me, I relax.

"so you still think this is a bad idea telling to everyone now ? because if you aren't, I'll be happy"

"why did you change your mind ? you told me you doesn't love me so what is it ?"

"Haley, I don't want to talk about this here"

"good, we are going in your room"

* * *

I sit on the bed and he rests again his desk. 

"so you sure you want to talk and not be something else now we are in my bedrooom ?"

"damn boy, do you think with anything except your dick ?"

"God, here the bitch again... I said that because we never did it in my bedroom, that's all"

I lie down and my hands come on my belly.

"I wanted to talk to you about your change of mind and you still didn't answer me"

"what do you want me to say ? that I love you ? that I always wanted to have a family with you ?"

"tell me the truth now. I want to know. I don't want you with me because you feel guilty and your mother is right, baby involves responsabilities and sacrifices. I have to be sure you are ready for this"

"Haley, you need to stop thinking. I already told you... I want this"

"no you said you wanted me whitout the baby and the next minute you told me that you are ready to have a family now"

he comes near me and lies on his back.

"Haley, you have to trust me... this is now you have to make a choice... you are afraid and it is because of this that you don't stop asking me questions with nonsense"

"Nathan, you mother has scaring me"

"what does she have to do with us ? it's our life ok ?"

* * *

I'm standing near Nathan and his father continues to speak about basketball to the public. Nathan is uncomfortable and he takes my hand gently. I stroke his arm and I feel him relasing the tension inside him. He looks at me and smiles. This is so good to reveal to everyone our relationship. 

"and I hope the Ravens will win the championship this year... but I know they will be excellent because I trust them, I trust my son to make the good decisions for his team... to the team"

"Cheers"

Nathan let go of my hand and starts walking near his father.

"I need to tell you something very important"

"speak my son"

Nathan starts to speak aloud.

"you must know now that I have a girlfriend and I care about her..."

what ? did he have to tell that to everyone before he told me ? and now I'm frightened at the following. He didn't dare tell them I'm pregnant with his baby ?

"she is now pregnant..."

there is a long silence, everybody start looking at me and Nathan. I want to run away, I turn around to leave but I found Lucas and Brooke. After I heard a slap, I look to Nathan and I see him on the ground, his father has big eyes. God what's happen ? Lucas rushes to push Dan away from Nathan and Tim helps him. Nathan gets up and walk away.

"don't dare come back here... I don't want you anymore, you are not my son anymore"

Nathan jostles me and makes his way toward the door. I run after him and I catch him outside.

"Nathan ?"

"and I forgot my keys... great"

he punches his car. I never deal with an angry Nathan, I mean sometimes he gets angry but not like that. He continues to hit his car furiously.

"Nathan stop it"

"do you have a car ?"

"no, I came with Lucas"

he starts walking quickly, I have to run to catch him and when I finally do it, I heard Lucas's voice.

"Nathan ? Haley ? wait"

"Nathan, would you stop ? Lucas is calling you."

"why do I have to care ?"

"because I tell you... now, you stop walking"

I grasb his arm and forces him to stop. Lucas runs towards us.

"hey, where do you go ?"

"somewhere else..."

"you need a car ?"

"no... you can go and have fun at your father's party..."

"Nathan"

God, here the jerk again... I have to stop him before anything else.

"Nathan, please, let him to take you where you want... I don't want you to be alone when you are like this..."

"I'm not alone, you stay with me"

Lucas doesn't like the conversation, he grabs my arm and press me against his chest.

"you really think, I want her to go with you. No way"

Nathan reaches my arm and tries to take me away from Lucas's embrace.

"she is my girlfriend, not yours... I need her, she goes with me"

"she is my best friend and I know her more than you, and I know what it is good for her"

"yeah but I'm the one who makes her scream at night not you"

this is too much. I put myself away from them and look at them.

"now, you stop everything... Nathan you have to calm you down and Lucas will gives us a ride..."

Nathan knows he talks too much but if he is angry I can too...

* * *

here, we are... the beach house. Nathan wanted to come here so I followed him. Lucas leaves us here. Nathan sits on the couch and I do the same. He switches on the tv and put his legs on the table. He is watching a basketball's game and don't even care if I'm here or not. I don't know what to do. Maybe I can take his hand... I look at him and something tells me I better don't do it. 

I lay my head on my arms and I fold my legs on the couch. Only my feet touch him and I have the need to retract on myself. I start to cry silently. All the emotions are running in my body, I can't even describe them. I feel Nathan's hand on my leg. He leans over and start to kiss me.

"I'm sorry Haley... I didn't want you to cry, you have to know that"

"I told you to keep your mouth shut but no, you have to challenge your father"

"I'm so sorry... baby, you have to believe me, I didn't want to hurt you, you are too important to me now, I need you to calm down, please."

He starts to kiss my arms and leans closer than me... something his mother told me is always in my mind and I really want to talk tonight.

"how many girls did you bring home ?"

"what ? what are you talking about now ?"

"your mother said 'girlfriends' not 'girlfriend' and I just want to know."

He sits down and turn off the tv.

"Haley, you really want to talk about others girls now... because there are plenty of things we can do other than that"

"you know your problem Nate, you are a perverse. We never talked and I need to know things about you, it isn't a crime, is it ?"

"ok, you want to know. A lot of girls but I never care about any of them except Peyton. She is the only one that I once loved"

ok, he is honest but he could be more nice and spares me the fact he doesn't love me like he loved Peyton.

"you ? how many guys ?"

"except you, only Lucas."

"did you date him ?"

"God, no... this is wrong... no he was my first friend and my only when we were children and my house is his."

"so you never have a real boyfriend ?"

"no, you are the only one."

"I'm glad to be your first about everything"

"who said you were my first kiss ?"

he looks at me like I'm crazy.

"you..."

"no I said you are my first boyfriend. My first kiss was Lucas..."

"you know, I really hate this guy ans you are always talking about him, this is annoying"

"are you jealous ? I can't believe this, you are jealous of Lucas"

"I'm not. Afterall, I'm the one who is with you now"

I sit down next to him and I put my hand on his leg.

"yes, you are but you need to talk to him. He is my best friend"

"so, you want me to go talking with him about our crazy nights like I do with others guys I really like ? because there is no way I can do that"

"what did you say ?"

he talks about me... interresting but he talks about our nights together and it's very wrong. Tim and the others of the basketball's team know about us... maybe he talked about this when we weren't dating and they think I'm a slut.

"I don't want to talk to Lucas, he is not my friend and he never will be."

"no, about your discussions with your friends ? you talked about us to them ? how can you do that ? it's personal... my life and especially my sexual life is mine not their"

"Haley, we are boys, we talk about this. You talk about this with Brooke and Peyton too."

"yes, I told them that I sleep with you but I never gave details... it's... God, I don't believe you. You knew you were my first and it was important for me... did you tell them when we are not together ? when we are just friends with benefits ?"

he says nothing and I understand. I stand up and start to walk in front of him.

"so, you did that... I always think it was a secret between us. This was a part of the deal..."

"Haley... Tim knew about the deal before you accepted it..."

"great... so what did you say ? I was good in bed ? or maybe you talked about my beauty spot on my ass ? did you said what I did to you during our crazy nights ? because I really want to know... next time I'll see Tim we can discuss about that... oh and maybe, I'll tell him to come and check about every details you told him on me..."

"would you stop ? I already told you, you were not important to me but it changed..."

"I felt very bad about you seeing me naked but now I know your little friend know everything about me so... not a big deal right ?"

"your friends know about me too..."

"because you slept with Peyton but I promise you I never talked about you with her"

"listen, I didn't know it will hurt you, but guys do things like this..."

"I don't approve"

"I never asked you to approve... and personaly I would prefer you never know this but we don't always have what we want, huh ?"

"I don't even know why I'm here"

I take my jacket and I go out of the beach house. He is so stupid and I'm too. I can't believe he talks about me to his friends... they know how I'm, they always knew.

"Haley, wait"

I turn and see Nathan running to me. I wait for him hoping he has a good excuse for all this shit.

"you forgot that"

he shows my mobile. I can't believe he is so a jerk. I take my mobile and I glare at him.

"thank you. With this I can call Lucas."

"why ?"

"I need a ride to come home"

he didn't think I will walk... this guy is stupid. I turn and start to walk away.

"Haley, go walk a little on the beach and after you come back here ok ?"

"why ? I don't want to fight with you, I have enough of this shit..."

"listen, I need you tonight and I want you to stay with me, please"

"I don't know..."

"don't let things like this between us... you don't like that and I don't either. So, after you'll come, we will be able to talk gently... but come back"

"what about I go to my house and come back in two days ?"

"what about you don't go ?"

I want to stay to be with him but I'm angry with him... I start to walk and I see him turn to the house. I really don't know what I can do. I look to my mobile and dial someone who could help me. I walk on the beach, I am far away from him and I can sit and look at the sea. I try once again to reach Brooke and it's again her voicemail.

"Brooke, I need to talk to you. Call me when you get this message"

ok, Brooke is not available so I try Peyton.

"hello ?"

"Peyton ? I need to talk to you"

"Haley, where are you ? are you with Nathan ?"

"yes, I'm with him but no, I am not with him"

"let me guess, a lot of drama after you are leaving the Scott's house ?"

"did you know he talk about me to the guys ?"

"it's a good thing, no ?"

"he talked about our sexual life before we were together officially"

"Haley, what's the big deal ? you know him and you knew him before, it's Nathan, he is a jerk"

"but I don't want him to be"

"where are you ?"

"on the beach, I was to the beach house with him but we started fighting and I leaved"

"you need to talk to him"

I know that but everytime we start to have a conversation it's ending in fight. I hang up with Peyton and I start to walk to the beach house. When I can see it, I see Nathan on the porch. I walk towards him and he doesn't see me. the sun is setting and Nathan looks very focusing on that. I don't want to disturb him so I don't talk. When I reach him, I seat next to him. He doesn't move. I look at his face and see he was crying... I settle my head on his shoulder and wait for him to talk. I don't want to start. He doesn't talk but he puts in hand on my leg, squeeze it a little. Why did he cry ? Nathan doesn't cry, it's not in his character, he is always so strong and confidence... I can't stop thinking it's about our fight... maybe he starts loving me...

"I don't know what to say to make you feel better. I made mistakes, it's me, you know that"

"yeah... but I'll like it if you don't do that now... everytime we talk, in the end, I'm hurting and I want to hate you... but I can't"

"because you love me ?"

"yeah, maybe. I have to ask you one more question"

"God, this is your fault you know... all this fights between us, you always ask wrong questions"

"would you love me someday ?"

I really need to know there will be a future for us, for the baby.

"I already told you I wanted to learn, it isn't enough for you ?"

"I don't know... you loved Peyton but I know you cheated on her, everybody knows it so if you don't love me, you could cheat on me too"

he doesn't say nothing... and I'm scared again but I don't want to leave him again...

* * *


	8. It was the wrong word

we watch the tv when my mobile rings. I take it and see it's Brooke.

"Hey, Tigger"

"Tutor-Girl, I saw you called me"

"yeah 3 hours ago"

Nathan starts to kiss my neck to make me laugh and it works.

"you are moking me ?"

"no, it's just... I see Nathan naked and it's too funny"

payback is a bitch... he told to his friends about me so I do it too. He bites me and I scream.

"Tutor-Girl, if you have sex now, I hang up !"

"no... anyway, where are you before ?"

"sex with Lucas... did you know that boy was never get tired"

"very bad picture mental... he is my best friend Brooke"

when he heard that Nathan makes a face and move away from me... I killed the mood... great, again an angry Nathan to deal with after.

"anyway, why did you call ? you are mostly despressed"

"oh, it's was nothing. Just the need to talk to you"

"sure... you lie... Peyton called me and she doesn't lie to me... Nathan was a jerk again ?"

"yeah, like always but I dealt with this and it's better now..."

we talked five minutes and I finally notice that Nathan are bringing me clothes... one of his t-shirt and shorts... and he is bare chest and he is so sexy... I don't think this is my hormones who talk but I never wanted him more than now.

"Brooke, I need to hang up"

"pretty boy wants sex ?"

"no, it's me"

I hang up and look at him when he sits down on the couch.

"so, what did Brooke want ?"

"nothing, just check on us but now Brooke isn't on the phone and..."

"I bring you some clothes to sleep"

"so, you really think I want to sleep ?"

he smirk at me and turns his looks on the tv. I start to kiss him and my hands are running on his torso. God, his skin is soft and his muscles are hard... this dawn boy has a really great body... I think about all this night I was with him and how the first time I was impressed by this now, it's like I know it perfectly...

"no, but I want it..."

"what ?"

"you told to Brooke it was funny to see me naked so I don't know why you have to endure this torture. I will hate myself to do that to you"

"come on, I was joking... you know it was a payback..."

"no I don't... so now let me watch the game"

I move away from him and start to undress me... I'm only in underwear and I feel his eyes on me... I stay a little like this and soon, his hands start to stroke my back and my belly.

"you knew it... I can't resist to you, James"

"good, I think I won this time"

he begins to kiss my neck, to caress my legs. My hands are automatically around his body, stroking his back. I fall on my back and he is on me soon...

* * *

This is the first time I'm waking up with Nathan and it is very good, I could get used to this. My head is on his chest and he plays with my hair. I start to suck his piercing and I feel him laughing.

"good morning"

God, he has a very sexy voice... he caresses my back gently and kiss my forehead...

"so, it's Saturday... what do you want to do ?"

"I was thinking to go at my parent's, talk to my father and take my things..."

"will you live here ?"

"I don't know... it's cool here and you can crash here when you want"

I smile against his skin and I look at him... deep blue eyes... I'm lucky to have him.

"are you hungry ?"

"yes... but before... kiss me"

he kisses me and I pull away.

"next time I want you to kiss me before you brush your teeth, remember me this kiss"

"ok, I will do that"

he gets up completly naked and I admire his ass... So damn strenghtened and sexy. He notices my stare and glares at me...

"stop doing that, you are embarrassing me"

"yeah right, I, Haley James, am embarrassing you, Nathan Scott, mister big ego ?"

"you don't know your own power over me"

he puts his shorts on and sits next to me.

"you know how much you are incredible ?"

"do you have take some pills or anything else ?"

"you are my drug"

ok, I'm not used to this. He is so sweet and gentle... this is so not Nathan. I wonder what happens with him... he had never be like that. Even this night he was so sweet, he told me how much I was beautiful. He asked me how I was feeling... maybe he is like this because he starts to love me... or maybe because of the baby.

"anyway... you go in your shower and I go make some breakfast, ok ?"

"I don't think there is something to eat here"

"oh... I'm hungry nate."

"maybe we can take the bus and go somewhere else to eat"

"you know where ? Karen's café. I want a cake"

I kneel down on the bed and the sheet falls, Nathan smirks but says nothing.

"yeah I want a whole cake. God I'm so hungry"

"hey baby... are you cold ?"

I realize I'm naked in front of him, I grab the sheet and I wind it around me.

"little perv... now go get your shower and be ready in 15, I'll take mine at Lucas's"

again the wrong word.

"Lucas's ? why ?"

"I have some clothes there"

"the next question is why ?"

"because I slept over sometimes, but in a friendly way... not crazy sex way... you understand ?"

"it's ok... I go take my shower"

he goes saying nothing and I just want to kill myself to ruin the mood.

* * *

I am waiting Nathan near the bathroom's door... I don't like it when he is distant. He goes out and I hug him... he is still mad at me... his body is tensed.

"I'm so sorry... I know you don't want me to be friend with him but I can't help it... please don't be angry because of this... you are the only one I want, you know that"

he says nothing but his body relaxes, he closes his arm around me and kisses my forehead. There are plenty of guys in Tree Hill, but I had to fall in love with my best friend's enemy... my like had never been so complicated.

"you go to Karen's café and I go at my parent's..."

"maybe I can go with you..."

"yeah like I want my father sees you... no way."

Ok, he doesn't want me to know his family, not a big deal because I don't care, I don't like his father but it still hurts.

* * *

I open the Karen's café's door and I see Lucas near the counter.

"hey stranger"

"hey, looser"

I sit on the stool next to him and he says nothing.

"Lucas, are you mad at me because of Nathan ?"

"yeah, you can say that"

"I already told you how it happened... I fell in love with him and now I carry his child..."

"listen, I just don't understand how you, Haley James, intelligent, funny, beautiful, can loved a guy like him... he is arrogant, self-centered, mean..."

"come on, soon, you will have a nephew or a niece and he will be the father, you have to talk to him... do it for me luke"

"you are lucky I love you but if he is a jerk once again I'll kick his ass, ok ?"

"no problem for me..."

he puts his arm around my shoulders and kiss my cheek.

"so you and Brooke ? are you in love ?"

"no... I mean, I have great time with Brooke but there is no love between us it's just physical..."

"so you still love Peyton ? because you know she is into Jake now..."

"I know this, I saw them together and he is a great guy..."

"but you hate him because Peyton wants him now and not you"

"yes... I wonder if I hadn't sleep with Brooke maybe Peyton and I can be together now."

"Brooke is cool... and she likes you a lot. You have to give her the opportunity to show it to you"

the door's bell rings but I don't mind, I keep looking at Lucas and he does the same.

"anyway, me and Brooke, Nathan and you... I think we grow-up... that's pathetic"

"I'm happy to be with him, he is not the jerk you think he is"

"so he made a hell of my life since I know him but he is not a jerk ? Haley open your beautiful eyes, Nathan can't change because of the baby, he will be a jerk all his life"

"shut up, you don't know him like I do... with me, he is sweet and attentive..."

"ok, stop doing that... I don't want a list with all his qualities because I don't care... and don't forget I still don't forgive you about all this shit"

"she doesn't need your forgiveness..."

we turn and we see Nathan behind us with his mother. He puts his arms around me and moves me away from Lucas's embrace.

"she has me and the baby, she doesn't need you"

what can I say ? I need Lucas in my life but I know if I say something, Nathan will be mad... I get up and smiles to Deb.

"glad to see you again mrs Scott."

"Haley, how are you ?"

"good, thank. You want a coffee ?"

she nods and I leave the little group. I go behind the counter and I see Peyton enters in the café. She comes towards me and gives me her greatest smile.

"so, mrs James ? what do you think of me ?"

"you smile too much... tell me what going on inside of your little head..."

"I'm over Lucas."

"so you are with Jake now ?"

"I think... we didn't do it because I think he is a little scared... you know because of what happens with jenny's mother... but he kisses me, it's a good start"

"yeah, normal people think it's something normal... are you ready to have a new relationship ?"

"Lucas and I it was too... complicated, you know what I mean since you are with Nathan..."

I see Nathan comes behind her.

"anyway Peyton, I'm happy for you. You want this and you have it..."

"is Nathan is cool now ? did he was a jerk again ?"

"no, but you have to know he is behind you... and I think he doesn't like it when we talk about him".

Peyton turns and gets up... she puts a hand on his shoulder

"now, you know how Haley felt when she knew about your little conversation with your friends..."

she leaves and Nathan glares at me.

"she is the person I called when I was outside..."

"never mind... my mom said I could stay at the beach house and the good news is that I didn't see my father. He was somewhere else... my mom told me he was frustrated about our situation. I didn't know he can think about something else than basketball..."

"so you stay at the beach house ?"

"yeah, and you could too... I mean there is nobody at your home and I don't want you to be alone"

"no it's ok... I will stay at my house..."

I see Peyton and Lucas talking and I can't thing about something else except Brooke... Lucas loves Peyton... he is just using Brooke...i just hope Brooke won't be attached to Lucas...

"what's your problem now ? I think you wanted to be with me"

"yeah, I want it... but I told you I want you to be nice with Lucas... why did you have to tell him I don't need him ? it's just a lie... or maybe a test... you wanted to know if I stand up with you against Lucas and I think this is a mistake to oblige me to do this choice..."

"Haley, he was criticizing me... and you let him do it... maybe you are ok with the things he said."

"I defended you... I told him you weren't like this anymore..."

"I always will be like this with him... you can't change me... I'm like that with you because you have my child but it's only with you and you know why ? because I can be a jerk... people don't dare challenge me and it's cool... I love being like this..."

"ok... so you know what ? I don't want to see you... be the jerk you are and leave... I'm not the others and you can't talk to me like you do now... I'm not your fan and I certainly not your puppy. Take your pretty face and go out of here and don't call me, because I really don't want to talk to you... I can raise my child without you."

"yeah sure. This is why you implore me to accept the baby ?"

"leave... I can't even look at you now"

I turn and go in the kitchen... every time we are in public he picks a fight... he wants to be a jerk... I don't care... I don't want to be with a guy like this and my baby won't be raise with a father like that... I need to go over him now...

* * *


End file.
